Valentine's Day
Valentine's Gifts For Friends Rather Than Partners
Friend Valentine's gifts have to avoid romance entirely while still being warm, which rules out most of the available shelf. An affectionate, over-formal document about the friendship handles this perfectly: it is unmistakably fond and unmistakably not a proposition.
Use the friendship's own comedy
The group chat habits, the cancelled plans, the advice that aged badly.
Make it shareable
Friend gifts are frequently screenshotted. That is a feature.
What makes it personal
Years, incidents, nicknames. Friend gifts run on archive material.
What we would make
Government-Issued Relationship Report Card — $4.99
An absurdly official two-page assessment of their merits, infractions and continued eligibility — affectionate, specific and very formally typeset.
- An official assessment of their reliability in group chats and their record on punctuality.
- A card marking the friendship in deliberately romantic-adjacent bureaucratic language.
- A coupon booklet of favours owed between friends.
Also worth considering: Digital Emergency Card & Envelope.
How it works
- Answer a short set of questions about the person — habits, history, the running jokes.
- We write the gift from your answers and show you the finished thing.
- Pay $4.99 once, then download the clean file or send the private link.
Questions
- Is it clearly non-romantic?
- Yes, the report card format reads as affectionate teasing.
- Can I make several?
- Yes, one per friend, each written separately.
- Can it be printed?
- Yes.
Ready when you are
About four minutes from here to a finished gift. You see the whole thing before you pay.
MAKE THEIR RELATIONSHIP REPORT